The Plot of Produce Wars

Let’s talk pie, broccoli, and stealing beauty. Produce Wars is a physics-based puzzle platformer that will release on XBOX Live Indie Games early 2013, and will be available for PC and mobile devices sometime later. Watch the preview trailer.

Produce Wars PlotThat pretty much sums it up.


Maybe we should have a paternity test…

What? Did you expect some long-winded history of Orchard Valley and the feud between fruit and vegetables? Maybe the upbringing of the Princess and how her father could possibly be a pear when that clearly violates the rules of fruit genetics? Or perhaps how pomegranates and papayas aren’t seen in the game because they were exiled long ago during the fabled Refrigerator Wars?

I’m not J.R.R. Tolkien.

The above picture pretty much sums up the story pretty well. And seriously, Produce Wars is about the gameplay more than the story. This isn’t Final Fantasy folks. Doc Broc and his vile team of veggies steal the Princess because that’s what hapless video game bad guys do: steal princesses and wait for the heroes to come rescue them.

But because I like you – whoever you are – I will elaborate a bit more on the full plot, which actually isn’t even fully explained in the game. So here we go. Short and sweet.The KidnappingThe Princess is the most beautiful piece of sweet produce in all the land. The evil Doc Broc has become increasingly frustrated with his ugly, wicked Eggplant of a wife, so he kidnaps the Princess so that he may turn her into a pie. If his wife were to eat this pie, she would then acquire the youth and beauty of the Princess, because as the saying goes, “a hot wife equals a happy husband.”

The villain quite literally wants to eat the Princess.

Yeah, the Princess is a peach. You missed that?

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